Why trust us
How we test — no free samples, no favorites
Brands don’t send us units and we don’t take payment for rankings. We buy retail like you do, run every unit through the same bench protocol, and publish the numbers — good and bad. Affiliate commissions never change a score.
Instrument-measured cooling
Every unit runs the same bench protocol with calibrated thermometers — no marketing claims copied.
Noise at sleeping distance
Decibel readings taken 3 ft away on every fan speed, because a cooler you can’t sleep next to is useless.
Runtime until empty
Batteries and tanks timed to the minute, at the settings people actually use.
We buy retail
No free samples, no sponsored slots. Losers get returned and never make the ranking.
The bottom line
If a unit can’t hold its cooling claim, keep noise reasonable at sleeping distance and survive 30 days of daily use, it doesn’t make the ranking — it goes back to the seller.